If you don't own this Harambe lamp, it's time to rethink your life

In the northern islands just above Scotland proper sits Orkney, an archipelago with just over 20,000 people. Its library has gained great internet fame thanks to an online presence as quirky as it is informative. Recently, its verified Twitter account sent out a beacon of distress about a book of lampshades. Turns out the light-diffusing tome had been lost (again). Wherever could it be?